Unpacking my bag.. Repost

 

Excerpts from my notes in FB

 

“Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See I am doing a new thing!”

Says the LORD.

Isaiah 43:18-19

My daughter Bea asked me to  tuck her to bed  like I always do, surprisingly she asked a question that caught me off guard. She said  ” Mom was there ever a time that you remember doing things before that you cannot do now. you miss doing it and it brings you to tears whenever you remember it?” Like what? I asked her. What do you do when you are little? do you sleep besides your parents? I explained that my parents are too busy and I was brought up by my Lola Felisa.. She insistently asked why.. emotions starts to fill my mind. She asked when did my mom died and she regret not meeting my mom.. Tears starts to well on my eyes, blinking it back so she won’t ask more questions. I hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. There are lots of thoughts running my mind. I miss my Mom.. and that they are lucky because both of us,  Anthony and I never really experienced being tucked in. I have nothing against my parents but looking back at the past,the pain just won’t let go.. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Mom, and I have forgiven my father.

But there are times i wish my Mom is still around. I know that she will love my kids and be proud of them like I am today.

I still cry when i remember my Mom.. I miss her so much.. Now i know why she have to leave us.

Unpacking my bags means to get rid of my childhood disappointments, some minor resentments, major regrets, injustices and forgiving those who hurt me. Little did I know that I have collected emotional baggage from the past. I know I have to learn to forgive myself, hope and not regret, to move on and finish the race. I need to throw the trash (bitterness, hatred, regrets) putting everything I am holding on to its proper place so I can focus what lies ahead. I know i need time to unpack my bag and this is the right time to unload.

I have learned that God uses my  past as a wise teacher for my present and future.

 One thing i do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

All of us who are mature should take such a view of things.

Philippians 3:13-15

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12 thoughts on “Unpacking my bag.. Repost

  1. may mga taong hangad ang kaligayahan ng bawat isa, kung minsan lamang ito’y nagbibigay ng kakaibang dating, at minsan pa’y nagiging sanhi at nagdudulot pa ng kalungkutan. (misinterpreted)

    • The means doesn’t justify the end. Kung mali ang paraan sa bandang huli pagsisisi pa din. Kung itinama ang paraan, malamang mas madaling matanggap ang kamalian.. Sa kabilang dako, paano mo malalaman ang kaligayahan kung di mo mararanasan ang kapaitan?

        • The true essence of love doesn’t mean satisfying oneself, it is more complicated than just “kaligayahan” kaligayahan is different from pag-ibig.. Don’t be confused with that.. Panadaliang kaligayahan, pero habang buhay na padurusa… O wagas na pagmamahalan para sa habangbuhay na kaligayahan?

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