Grateful Heart… (Post birthday thoughts)

 

My day was not so special, in fact the day before today, i was in a very negative vibes.  I wanted so much to complain  about my life and my burden. I wanted to ask God how long shall I need to undergo this kind of situation, I feel like im stuck up in a quicksand.  I wanted to be still knowing that God will and have answered my prayer, but i just can’t help it.  Every time I try to move i end up deeper into the quicksand that i am in.

I wanted to scream and tell them , I can no longer provide for every one, I lost my job, the situation is no longer the  same. I can no longer save you for i am also in a the same shoes like you. I almost came to a point when i wanted to say Life is so unfair,why do I need to carry a responsibility which is not mine? How long will I have to endure this hardship? How long will they realize that I am just but human and I too get tired. But I didn’t I just held back my words and kept it inside.

Losing my job was one of the major crisis in my life. Probably because I have been struggling on my own, though I know God, and I know his words, I haven’t been a regular church attendee. My job always hinders me to do it. My job is more important that anyone  and anything else. Little did I know that I was instructing God of what I want and not asking Him  ” thy will be done.”

I  realized today that I missed so many things in life, chatting with my children, talking to them heart to heart. I failed to see how lucky I am to have a good husband. I am not a fan of household chores but because of the given situation i was forced to ask my maid to take a vacation. My husband coming from work will take my place in cleaning dishes and he would wake up early in the morning to cook food for the children. My husband is a very wonderful man.  I have so many blessing that i failed to count during my darkest hours. It was such a foolish act to cry for something not worth crying.

Contented, that is what I feel right now. My heart is overflowing with happiness, unexplained happiness that tears would just roll on my cheeks. I am so proud of my children, the love they are showing me is overwhelming. Watching them suddenly made me think of the lost times due to wrong priorities.

With a grateful heart  God made me realized that I have so many blessing in life, Though I lack money I am richly blessed with people, friends and family. Truly God’s ways are beyond our comprehension.

Isaiah 55:8
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.

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9 thoughts on “Grateful Heart… (Post birthday thoughts)

  1. We always complain about the life that we had when we are in the bad situation. I almost give up on Him, but I believed that He never says, “No” to my prayers but rather He says, “Not now.” Isa pang natutunan ko na “Be faithful in the little things.” Paano ako pagkakatiwalaan ni Lord sa mga big things with big impact kung sa maliit na bagay na binibigay niya ay wala akong pakialam. Pagpalain ka Ate Binky! =)

    • Minsan ang hirap sumunod eh.. Madalas nauuna pa reklamo… Human nature… Kaya dapat habang bata pa lang disciplinahin na sunod muna bago reklamo… Yay!

  2. Hmmm, naaalala ko si Papa, bago pa siya nawala sa mundo, kagaya rin siguro siya ng asawa mo, siya ang madalas maghanda at magluto sa hapag kainan, sa kabila ng kanya ring trabaho. Madalas niya pinagsisilbihan si Mama, ganoon niya iyon kamahal. Ngunit maaga lang siyang kinuha ni Lord, buhat noon naging malulungkutin si Mama, at tuwing kasama ko si Mama magsimba, lagi siyang napapaluha, at tuwing makikita ko siya di ko mapigilang magdamdam din, sobrang nakakalungkot. Kitang-kita ko at damang dama kung gaano at paano siya kinukurot ng kalungkutan. Naisip ko rin nga sa mga pangyayari na “ang mababait ata ay maaga talagang kinukuha ni Lord”, sigh.
    Aysus natakot tuloy ako (joke lang). NAkakalungkot talaga balikan ang ala-ala. Hmmm, kaya si hubby mo, magiliw mong pagsilbihan ha, (kahit minsan lang, hehehe, joke lang ulit), ng madalas dapat…..

    gandang gabi.

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