My day was not so special, in fact the day before today, i was in a very negative vibes. I wanted so much to complain about my life and my burden. I wanted to ask God how long shall I need to undergo this kind of situation, I feel like im stuck up in a quicksand. I wanted to be still knowing that God will and have answered my prayer, but i just can’t help it. Every time I try to move i end up deeper into the quicksand that i am in.
I wanted to scream and tell them , I can no longer provide for every one, I lost my job, the situation is no longer the same. I can no longer save you for i am also in a the same shoes like you. I almost came to a point when i wanted to say Life is so unfair,why do I need to carry a responsibility which is not mine? How long will I have to endure this hardship? How long will they realize that I am just but human and I too get tired. But I didn’t I just held back my words and kept it inside.
Losing my job was one of the major crisis in my life. Probably because I have been struggling on my own, though I know God, and I know his words, I haven’t been a regular church attendee. My job always hinders me to do it. My job is more important that anyone and anything else. Little did I know that I was instructing God of what I want and not asking Him ” thy will be done.”
I realized today that I missed so many things in life, chatting with my children, talking to them heart to heart. I failed to see how lucky I am to have a good husband. I am not a fan of household chores but because of the given situation i was forced to ask my maid to take a vacation. My husband coming from work will take my place in cleaning dishes and he would wake up early in the morning to cook food for the children. My husband is a very wonderful man. I have so many blessing that i failed to count during my darkest hours. It was such a foolish act to cry for something not worth crying.
Contented, that is what I feel right now. My heart is overflowing with happiness, unexplained happiness that tears would just roll on my cheeks. I am so proud of my children, the love they are showing me is overwhelming. Watching them suddenly made me think of the lost times due to wrong priorities.
With a grateful heart God made me realized that I have so many blessing in life, Though I lack money I am richly blessed with people, friends and family. Truly God’s ways are beyond our comprehension.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.