please be careful with your heart….

English: Principle of ECG formation, fast Deut...

English: Principle of ECG formation, fast Deutsch: Prinzip der EKG-Darstellung, schnell (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

After a few months of becoming a full time mom. I have finally decided to give work another chance not because I am dying to have a career but because of financial obligations that I need to fulfill for my family. Nevertheless, to make the story short, I pass the test and was asked to complete my pre-employment requirements which include Medical Examination. The usual procedure that I do every year for the past 4-5 years of my working days. Blood extraction, urine and stool specimens, drug test, X-ray, ecg and physical examination. I was confident enough that I would pass all this since I know that I don’t smoke, nor do I take any drugs, I know I am healthy as a horse. Until the result came out. The doctor took my Blood pressure again for the nth time and recorded 120/80. Nothing unusual since it is my normal bp since way back. To my surprise she announced that mine is high.. Whuaaat? I could have debated the doctor and insisted that it is my normal bp. She showed me the result of my x-ray and I was sure I read it correctly. Aorta is atherosclerotic. My ECG result is also there, with remark, incomplete RBBB. Really now! I never believed and deny that it was mine. With that findings I asked if I could still work. Slowly I felt the world caving in. Curious and feeling lost, I researched, with the intention of knowing if I could make it today, tonight or how long will I still stay alive.

The truth of the fact on my way home i cried inside the MRT. I trembled with fear, I cried wondering if I will die in a day, in a week or shall I become a burden to my family. With so many thoughts bothering me. With so many why’s, when and how, I got depressed. Literally asking God if he could extend my life for 10-15 more years so I could still be with my growing kids.

Incomplete RBBB – An incomplete RBBB is present when there is a slowing of or delayed conduction through the right bundle branch or within the right ventricular myocardium, thereby delaying activation of the right ventricle. (See “ECG tutorial: Physiology of the conduction system”). Activation of the septum and left ventricular myocardium is unaffected; thus, the initial part of the QRS complex is normal (eg, septal Q waves followed by a R wave). However, the delay in right ventricular myocardial activation causes it to occur after left ventricular activation rather than simultaneously, thereby altering the terminal portion of the QRS complex.

Given this information. I understood the cry of my heart. I got across this and realized what I did to myself.

We only have one life, but we live everyday. There are things that we cannot achieve and there are lots of people that we cannot please.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism. Col 3-23

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