Its a few days and it’s Christmas.. I’ve seen joy in the eyes of people, children and adults alike. Buying gifts, receiving gifts, celebrating Christmas party and enjoying the festive mood. Hearing christmas carols, feeling the love on the air, I asked myself what do I want this christmas season?
No I don’t have any specific gift in mind for myself but I wanted to give my family more than just material things. Something they can keep in their hearts, memory perhaps?
This kind of thought started a few days ago when I got the result from my lab test. The thought of what will happen if my heart problem didn’t get better? Will I die in an instant due to heart attack? or will I be a victim of stroke? or shall I be a bedridden patient that will be a burden to my children. Thoughts that bring me to a negative attitude. I know I sound crazy and I am a bit exaggerated. But you see, I am also human I need to vent out my bad thoughts so i can replace it with good thoughts.
I need a change of heart both literally and figuratively. I need a change in attitude
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
I know I need that big change in life. I know in my heart God will heal me and change my heart from a wicked weakened heart to a loving strong hearted woman. To do that I need to unveil the contents of my heart which is hardened by hatred and pride, weakened by lust and greediness.
Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the Lord.
On my own, in this world I know I cannot do it. Human nature that we fall into temptation and fulfill the desire of the flesh, to give in to lust of this world. And in an attempt to fight back from all those savage people trying to hurt me I have harden my heart, speaking with hatred and cursing behind.I have lost the heart of gold.
This Christmas season and for the year to come. I pray that my soul searching will be over. Start anew and reveal a new character. To live as a follower of Christ and to live according to his word until then I know the true healing and the change of my heart will happen.
We cannot be born again without a change of heart and behavior; those who are born of God will practice righteousness like Christ himself