Irony of working

I’ve been working most of my married life, and it is my dream to be a full time mom while my children still needs me. There was a time when I lost my job and became a full time mom. It was rewarding having to see my children more inspired to study. Anticipating to see me when they return from school, eager to tell me everything that happened on their daily school activities. They often look forward to see me attend the parent – teachers meeting. I could feel how proud they are whenever I participate in their school activities. But everything has its downside. Not working means tight budget, limited resources and stack of utility bills. I was force to work again, given the circumstances of our financial status.

Ironic because my work, though financially rewarding demands full commitment. Which means work should be on my top list all the rest falls below. I work because i want to give my children better quality of life to keep them abreast with technology, and to do that i need to purchase electronic gadgets for school needs. Also working with higher income gives me the chance to give us the much needed vacation so we could bond together and update each others life. My work demands me to work on holidays, i’m not even allowed to file vacation leave, sick leave or even emergency leave. With this set-up, i ask myself, it is worthy to work this way?

Being a mother requires my presence, my guidance and my love. My work demands 9 hours, 2.5hours spent traveling thru and from work, 10hrs spent for myself including rest, hygiene, eating, exercise etc., other activities, will be squeezed on the remaining hours left. 6-7 days off in a month, that means most of the hours should be spent for my children but again, it is a running off, meaning i get my off after working on 4 consecutive days. My off would probably hit on weekdays, when my children are at school.

Still it breaks my heart to disappoint my children if they wanted something that I cannot give. As parents we always wanted what’s best for them. If I do not work my husband’s income is not suffice to sustain our needs.

Then i learned about working at home, one day when I get the hang of it. I need not go to work. All i need right now is a part time job to augment our daily needs and for our little pleasures in life.. Soon I hope…